#8 – Father Larry Duff

This man has a surprisingly exciting life for someone who drives a Ford Granada

“I’ll just give Father Larry Duff a call…” – Father Ted

As with Harry Gregg, Father Larry Duff was incredibly unlucky with injuries blighting his career. However, the big difference lies in that all of Larry’s troubles were caused by the same man: Father Ted Crilly.

What makes him a hero is that he carried on through all these injuries to still lead one of the most interesting lives a fake tv priest could ever dream of. Hell, even the most cynical of guests would be impressed if this guy was drafted in as a public speaker. Yes, there is even a facebook group dedicated to him, a sign of admiration and respect if ever there was one; just ask crunchy looking leaves and Bananas in Pyjamas

And these people are right to. In the space of a year this man:

  • Group therapy didn't go so well for poor Larry...

    Drove a car off a cliff

  • Was injured in a  knife throwing act
  • Was arrested on suspicion of being a terrorist
  • Was savaged by twelve rottweilers
  • Built and then accidentally destroyed a gigantic house of cards
  • Stapled his ear
  • Appeared on a gameshow and lost the chance of winning £10,000
  • Was trampled by donkeys
  • Tumbled 500ft down a mountainside
  • Was buried in an avalanche

All of these are story worthy, at least down the pub, but a common theme will start to crop up: most of these event’s calamitous ending are caused by the same guy constantly ringing him up in order because he’s bored or needs advice. And yet Larry Duff stays friends with Ted, even though he’s “tremendously fun” and as such is able to find friends to hang out with whenever he wants to. He is an unsung hero for the fact that he does not once want to kill or at least maim the man who causes him all this torture and pain, and for that he shall be congratulated.

On the other hand, Justin Bieber shall soon be assaulted with a mace, covered in Bovril and then fed to crocodiles for torturing my ears. Larry Duff is certainly a better person than I.

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