“Captain Planet, he’s a hero!” – The Planeteers
The universe is big. It’s full of many planets we’ve never encountered and perhaps never will in our lifetime. Our solar system is also big; not *as* big obviously but certainly bigger than a lot of big things like an elephant or something. However, we know a lot more about this part of space than the rest of it, especially about the planets.
However, there is one of these planets that often gets overlooked. We all know about the sneaky wannabe planet that is Pluto, as well as the fireball closest to the sun, Mercury and everyone’s favourite pun crude pun inducing ball of mass that is Uranus (tee hee). Jupiter’s the giant, Saturn has its rings while each gender knows their respective home planets on Mars and Venus.
But what of Neptune? The best we can come up with is that its blue. In a survey of two people at work, neither could name Neptune as one of the planets. They got all the others very quickly but it took a few minutes of hints and provocation to get a correct response. The best they could come with was ‘oh, it’s blue’. What do they think it is, a sodding Smurf?! Sure, Mars is known as the red planet, but we can reference that to kingdom come. Neptune is a planet I have never seen referenced on TV, fiction or non-fiction, which is a shame as it pretty much the “ultimate” planet. Why? Let me explain.
We’ll start with the obvious; Neptune is the furthest planet from earth, therefore it eclipses Pluto, which is merely a dwarf. It is bright blue like Uranus while also being known for its colour like Mars, but instead of being bland and dull, it has violent storms to rival Venus and some other great weather phenomenon, such as its South Pole being its warmest place. It has the rings like Saturn, only a bit more unstable as well as a ‘spot’ similar to that of Jupiter, but it differs due to the fact it appears and disappears on the planet almost at will. It is also sodding cold; you’d die quicker there than on Mercury. And Earth is just boring.
The forgotten planet should remain forgotten no longer. Shout its name in the streets, shout it in people’s faces, get arrested; just don’t tell them I sent you.